


These White Walls

by Lexaxme



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan, clexa - Fandom
Genre: AU, F/F, Hospitals, Mental Illness, Mental Institutions, Schizophrenia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-30 08:58:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6417169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexaxme/pseuds/Lexaxme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Lexa Woods has been in the psychiatric ward of Saint Polis hospital for 3 weeks after her last psychotic break, this is a story about a young woman with Schizophrenia fighting her demons, learning her self-worth and falling in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you have triggers inside hospitals please do not read this  
> I am really loving writing this story, i don't know how long it will be but the topic's are something very close to my heart and personal life.
> 
> First chapter is rather short! But it gives a good introduction to the story.

These white walls  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Lexa POV  
  
The cold white walls that surround me suffocate me like being stuck under ice in a shallow pond, a lot of things make me feel like I’m suffocating or stuck but nothing compares to how isolated, stuck and alone these white walls around me make me feel.  
“Hey there Lex” my cousin Anya calls over as she enters my room within the mental ward of the hospital that I’ve been stuck inside for the past 3 weeks since my psychotic break.  
“Hi” I say shyly, I don’t know how to act when I’m inside these walls? My doctors drugging me up with so many pills I can hardly keep myself awake “did you bring me some real food?” although most my emotions are suppressed by the pills my doctors force me to take, hunger is one thing I heavily feel, hunger to not only eat but get out of this place, when I’m in the real world I get to see the world moving, I get to feel things I get to feel free, not from the voices but at least I’m free to move around, to go for a walk or a swim at the beach.  
“Yes I made you some sandwiches, your favourite” Anya hands me the food and I bite into it, I feel at peace for a moment as I close my eyes and crunch down into the fresh lettuce, tomato and ham sandwich “Thank you Anya” I say to my cousin, really I am overly thankful for her, she is the only person that has been here for me throughout the years.

 After the voices started my mother got scared of me and sent me to a hospital, after my one month visit I was allowed to go home but my mother was listening to how media portrayed my illness and not what my illness actually is, I haven’t seen in her in years as Anya said I could come live with her, she took care of me when I needed it and has always been there for me since, I owe her everything.  
  
“It’s no problem Lex, how have you been? Getting much sleep?” My cousin asks me with a sincere tone. 

“All I do is sleep when I’m in here, the drugs are pretty hard core” I reply to her

“You have a meeting with Doctor Griffin tomorrow and she will see if you’re ready to come home, which I know you are” Anya says as she gives me a small side hug.

“Dr. Griffin seems nice, but sometimes I feel like she doesn’t get it” 

“Do any of these doctors really get it? Probably not Lex, but I do and that’s what really matters”  
  
“Yeah to me, but not to the law, if it were up to us how my treatment goes we both know it would be a lot different”

 

“One day little cousin, one day” Anya was always an optimist when it came to my illness, I wish I could be as positive as her about it but I couldn’t afford to have hope, it’s the most dangerous thing in the world.  
  
“Visiting time is over ladies” the nurse says as she knocks on my door letting Anya know it’s time for her to leave “I’ll see you tomorrow Anya?” I ask and she replies with a nod and kisses me on the cheek “see you tomorrow Lex” She leaves and I’m right back to where I started, suffocating in a room surrounded by these white walls.


	2. Sandwiches and car crashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets Lexa and they both enjoy each others company, Anya doesn't make her daily visit to Lexa...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anybody who is giving my work a shot and reading it, i hope to keep this story going (:

Clarke’s POV  
  
“Clarke! Go change your scrubs you’re a total mess!” My mother yells at me which isn’t something new, working with my mother has always been a struggle, we were never close growing up and after my father passed away that distanced us apart even further  
“I was on my way to change, a guy in the ER threw up on me” I reply and go to change  
I’m on my 2nd year of residency at Saint Polis Hospital and it’s been the hardest 2 years of my life, my mother is head of the psychiatric department and I’ve been leaning towards becoming a trauma surgeon, the thrill of not knowing what tomorrow is going to bring always appealed to me, not just working off a schedule but working with what you’re given.  
  
“Clarke you’re with me today” My mother orders out   
  
“What? No I’m in the ER today” I say back to her, why was she messing with my work life so much?  
  
“You don’t have enough psychiatric hours so stop arguing before I have to remind you who’s in charge here” She respond   
  
“Fine, what’s on the agenda today?” I feel defeated but she is correct, I don’t have enough psychiatric hours down this year, I didn’t mind working in the psych department but as I said earlier, the ER is where I belong.  
  
“Lexa woods is our first patient, she’s in ward 2 room B I’ll be there soon could you go make sure she’s awake and just make small talk till I’m there” I make my way down to the patients room and when I enter I hear a soft snoring noise coming from the brunette, I pick up her case file and start to read but before I get a chance to the girl in the hospital bed props herself up “Paranoid schizophrenic, diagnosed 3 years ago and admitted 3 weeks ago after having a psychotic break” she ends her sentence with a huff of air “I- I’m sorry?” I respond  
“You were reading my file to see what’s wrong with me, Dr. Griffin always sends her residents in to read up my file before she arrives”

 “Nothing’s wrong with you, you can’t help what’s happening” I reply to her  
  
“You’re not like the other doctors are you?” the other girl said with curiosity in her voice  
as she started to blink a lot and shake her head  
  
“Hey is everything okay?” I quickly jump to her side   
  
“Yeah, just frank”   
  
“Frank?”  
  
“He’s one of the voices I hear”  
  
“Well I hope he’s nice to you, you seem like a nice person”   
  
“So if I wasn’t a nice person you would want him to be evil?” the other girl said catching me off guard and as I opened my mouth to speak she let out a small laugh “I’m just kidding, and Frank is kind most of the time”  
  
I let out a small giggle and sigh simultaneously “Well I’m glad he’s kind to you” I smile at the girl and as she smiles back at me I’m totally taken by her smile, she’s so beautiful and I notice the shade of green her eyes are, it devours me and for a moment I forget that I’m at work in a room with a patient, who I am now starring at.   
  
“Hello Lexa it’s nice to see you’re up and you’ve met my resident for the day” My mother says as she enters the room ruining the moment, the totally inappropriate moment I have to remind myself.   
  
“Yes but I didn’t catch her name” Lexa says as she lifts an eyebrow and looks at me curiously  
  
“Doctor Griffin, but to keep things from getting complicated you can just call me Clarke today”  
  
“Griffin? Are you both related?” Lexa asks   
  
“Mother and daughter” I explain and as I mention the word “mother” I notice Lexa wince at it, maybe she didn’t have a good relationship with her mother I wondered? But now is not the right time to be thinking about that, actually no time is I have to remind myself again that I shouldn’t be interested in patient’s personal lives.  
  
Times passes and we are nearly done with our talk and my mother’s evaluation of Lexa’s mental state when my pager goes off “Mom, I’m getting paged to the ER they need extra people, there’s been a huge car pileup”   
  
“Okay go and also remember to call me Doctor in front of patients, Clarke”   
  
“Okay Doctor, good bye Lexa is was nice meeting you” I say as I rush out the door and make my way to the emergency department, there are people everywhere and blood on the floor, I have not seen it this busy ever in my time working at the hospital, I take a chart from a nurse and go over to find my patient waiting in their bed “Hello my name is Dr. Griffin could you tell me yours please?” I ask as a check the pupils of the patient “Anya, Anya woods”   
  
I check over the girl and notice her stomach is extended with bruising starting to appear  
“Okay Anya I’m going to go get another doctor to come take a look at your stomach, if you’re in too much pain just let someone know”

 I page for a general surgeon knowing that the bruising and extended stomach probably means internal bleeding, which means surgery.  
It was selfish to get excited over someone else’s injury’s I know, but as a learning surgeon I can’t help it, being able to fix someone from the inside is still mind blowing to me and I do it nearly every day.   
  
Doctor Green my good friend and general surgeon arrives shortly after I page for assistance, he takes a look over the girl before doing a quick ultrasound and discovering the internal bleeding inside “book an operating room we’re going to need to get down there and stop this really soon, start prepping the patient” He says to me and I follow his orders.  
As I’m helping prep Anya for surgery she says to me “my cousin”    
  
“was your cousin in the car crash? What’s their name I’ll try find them for you”  
I say as I bring up patient directory on my work iPad   
  
“No, I was coming here to visit her, bring her sandwiches”  
  
“I can get someone to inform her you’ve been in an accident, and she will be fed by the nurses don’t worry” I say as I continue to prep her for surgery  
  
“No, please take them to her please they are in my bag, she’s in the psychiatric department”  
I lift an eyebrow and think for a moment as Anya pointed to her bag on the chair next to her bed.

“Do you share the same last name? Woods?”  
  
“Yes, Lexa Woods”  
  
“I know her, I’ll take the sandwiches to her I promise” I know that taking the time to go down to the psych ward means no surgery for me, but helping people doesn’t always been slicing them open and stopping some bleeding, plus I wouldn’t mind seeing Lexa again, something about her made me feel oddly calm and she was funny, not to mention beautiful as well.

“Thank you” Anya responded as Doctor Green arrived to start taking Anya down to the OR for surgery “I’m going back to the psych ward now, can you find a different resident for surgery” I said and 5 hands went up behind me   
“Me! Me! Me!” all the other residents said dying to get to do a surgery   
Doctor green looked at me with a smile “I think I’ll manage”  
  
I grab Anya’s bag off the chair and start walking back to ward 2 room B where Lexa is probably sitting waiting for her cousin.


End file.
